STORIES...
Friday, December 31, 2004
Today... New Year's Eve...
Hmmmmm... Had to reflect wat I've done this yr...
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I can't really rem wat I did this yr!! haha... Guess nth really serious... Onli pon lessons n cca... got warning letter for yr1sem2... Took too much cold stuff n too spicy stuff... Had to visit Tan quite a few times this yr... Sleep during lect... esp Kiwi's lessons... Didn't pay attn during lessons... esp Kiwi's lessons again...
Hmmm.... I think nth else le... hehe... Me not really a bad student hor...? Juz a typical student... hehe...
2oo5...
2oo5... It's a new yr... It's a new start... I've gotta be strong... Stronger... Though it's hard... but I've gotta try...
1. Try not to skip lessons too much... esp 4 Kiwi's...
2. Try not to slp during lect... esp 4 Kiwi's
3. Try to pay attn during lessons... esp 4 Kiwi's
4. Had to stop ponning cca practice...
5. Gotta be a better student..
6. Go Bali to visit Trisna... If M'my allow...
7. Get a new hairstyle to scare my dad...
8. Hope I'll not hav too much problems fm my stupid stomach...
9. Climb my way up 2 get that credit card...
10. World Peace! hahaha... (I've gotta make a dramatic closing...)
Reminiscing stops at |7:56:00 pm|
Yesterday... ... ...
Mrs Pat cancelled BLAW lect cuz she's on M.C... Hope she's feeling better to welcome the new year. Lessons ended @ 4 instead of 5. So... I had an hour 2 decide whether I shld start work @ 5, 530 or 6.
I took the train... @ Raffles place, I had to change train... I was quite tired when the train was heading towards Sommerset. I fell asleep. I woke up when the train was @ Dhoby Ghaut. I closed my eyes again. When I opened my eyes, I heard "Doors closing..." Ahhhh...!!! I missed my stop!! I alighted @ Orchard and took the train back to Sommerset.
I finally decided to start work @ 530pm. Headed to Heeren for dinner. Had hotdog. The ketchup or the 'juice' fm the hotdog dripped onto my WHITE Bilabong bag!!! *heartbroken* After finishing it, I rushed to the toilet to save it. Despite 'scrubbing' it, the stain didn't wanna disappear... *sob* It's obvious but not that obvious... wat am I toking...
I was a little blur when I reach there. There's too many ppl 4 me to think properly... I was looking for Sebas but couldn't find him... Mayb he's not working... Mayb he's too small to b seen... haha.. :p Hai was working... He was walking here n there... I can't rem if we acknowledge each other's presence when we saw each other...
Xing bot a big box of sushi!! uncle... can't finish leh... Winnie asked me 2 settle... When I was sitting on the dirty floor, pricing the pillow n bolster cases, I saw sth moving on the box... Auntie Sally said, "Jade! Got cockroach!" I jumped up n screamed!! I had to repack again... The priced n unpriced stuff was mixed up... *sob*
Was a little hungry after packing the 9:30am stocks... We finished packing @ abt 1130. Punch out @ 1149pm... We're the last ones fm H/L to leave... Auntie Sally tricked my auntie to CP to send us home... Auntie Sally n I ate some on the way home... When I reached home, there's still some left... My stomach can't stuff anymore in... At nite cannot eat too much... Anyways, onli left those wif crabstick... Me dun eat crabstick... Pushed them to my mom...
I packed my table n read the comics Rena lent me while waiting 4 my hair to dry... Slpt till 10am this morning... Was 15mins late 4 MR lect not cuz I woke up late... It's cuz of the rain... n the tv... hehe...
Reminiscing stops at |7:21:00 pm|
I love being alone... But I hate the feeling of being alone...
I can get the peace I really want when I really need it... I love watching movies alone... Cuz not many ppl wanna watch a few in a row... But sometimes, I really hope there's someone beside me... Someone that I noe, watching the movies together wif me...
I love going home alone... I could read, slp or look @ other passengers... But sometimes I really wish I could share wat I see, wat I heard on the train or wat happened on that dae wif someone...
I love being alone... But I hate the feeling of being alone...
Reminiscing stops at |3:25:00 pm|
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Finally I know why my pay was short of $40!! The stupid machine was spoilt on that dae n I didn't write my time on the stupid punch card!! ahhhh!!!! 1 day's pay!!! haiz... Shall treat it as Community Service... haiz...
Reminiscing stops at |10:11:00 pm|
Tml gonna work @ CP... Actually shld b RC... But last min kana posted 2 CP... This afternoon went there see see, look look... Wah seh! So many ppl!! Wonder if Winnie's working tml or not... hee...
Tml work... tml gotta wear tt shoes 2 sch... tml gotta bring uniform 2 sch... Bag gonna be heavy again...
Shld I bring my French text tml? hmmmm.....
Tml not going 4 cca again... cuz of work... haiz...
Xiusi: I failed that challenge... *sob* I was online juz now... Next week I WILL complete that challenge!!
Reminiscing stops at |8:52:00 pm|
Last nite, Mr Loy tok 2 me for abt an hour... He told me abt asking ppl out n his experiences... I wanted to call Sebas but Mr Loy had too much to sae. Rena stopped him when it was abt 930 cuz I needa go le... Haiz.. nv call Sebas... Shall do it later...
Reminiscing stops at |8:26:00 am|
Monday, December 27, 2004
I woke up... Tired fm wat had happened... I looked @ myself in the mirror... I decided to wear my specs to sch.. I had to wear it to sch todae...
ECMT pract... It's the 1st time I chat online openly eventhough teacher was walking ard.. hee.. I forgot 2 bring my jacket cuz I was in a hurry... I was freezing in the lab!!
ECMT lect... I told nini.. I asked her wat I shld do... I shldn't hav pulled her into my mess... haiz... Tried 2 keep myself warm by disturbing her throughout the lect...
Lunch.. Chicken rice... It's the 1st mon since sch reopen... I had sth heavy 4 lunch...
TTP lect.. The moment I heard Kiwi's voice, I fell asleep. I woke up juz in time 4 break. Nini was sleeping too... Michelle slpt thoughout... Waking up onli 4 breaktime n the end of the lesson...
EPI... We had to measure each other... I was 12cm 'longer' than usual!! Nini really 'noe' know 2 measure... haha..
On the way home... Meihua suddenly asked abt my TangYuan... We alighted @ Chinatown. Meihua really 'know' her way!! She was confused which way to walk... I juz followed her quietly... ok! I did sae sth tt made her more confused! haha..
Hope I dun have to wear my specs 2 sch again tml...
Reminiscing stops at |8:13:00 pm|
Sunday, December 26, 2004
I feel that I'm in such a mess now. It feels so horrible now. I dunno what's happening but those tears juz kept forcing their way out. I dunno the reason. I'm so confused. I wanna forget abt todae...
It feels great when you know people around u loves u. The dark clouds will be blown away, revealing the bright sky.
Your words came too sudden. I didn't know how to react. So, I chose to avoid it. I'm so sorry...
Reminiscing stops at |9:43:00 pm|
Saturday, December 25, 2004
I'm @ home now... Since yesterdae, everyone's asking me where I am. There's a HUGE crowd out there. So where else can I be??
That ah Lau dun wanna answer my calls... Giving her 99missed calls... haiz... If she dun tell me what time we're meeting, I'll rot @ home... or maybe go NTI there... ... ...
Reminiscing stops at |1:27:00 pm|
~Dream on~
What is a dream?
An illusion,
Its another world,
Its the world behind my eyes,
Its the subsconscious mind awake,
Its where the dead are alive,
The alive are dead,
Its where everything you touch,
It becomes real,
Its where monsters are non-fiction,
Its where butterflies are common,
Its where we see paradise,
Its where we see hell,
Its where we see heaven,
Its just a dream,
Dream on,
Can you explain a dream?
Its just signs,
Its just a nightmare,
Its just a fantasy,
Its just a dream,
Dream on,
Can you explain it?
~mYztIC87~
Reminiscing stops at |1:27:00 pm|
Friday, December 24, 2004
Today's Christmas Eve... Seems the same for me except.. Everyone's going home but I'm going to sch!! *sob* I can't send any msg!! SingTel service down.. I tried fm Hg to Dover!!
I was kinda fed up when I was alighting. I was late!! Everyone's rushing in!! I can't get out!! So... I pushed my way out.
I saw Andrew boarding the train, Chunhui n Novi heading for the station.. Everyone's walking in the opposite directions!! Everyone's going home!! *sob*
I complained 2 Nini tt I can't send any msg... When I wanna show her, my msg can send le!! haiz...
After 1hr journey 2 sch 4 1hr lect, it's another 1hr journey home... Everyone's going out to celebrate Christmas... Onli me go home rot... The crowd makes me sian... So rotting @ home makes me feel better..
5+, I went 4 my nap... I got a shock fm my hp... 1 missed call, 6sms.. All the sms are last nite's!! haiz...
Reminiscing stops at |9:44:00 pm|
Yesterdae, a terrible stomache woke me up. I dare not tell my mom... But she found out... That's why I'm having porridge for branch...
I tried to endure the pain... but I kept complaining the whole dae but not 2 my mom... During QA tut, I msg uncle Shaun that I can't meet him...
During MR tut, Xiusi, Nini n me kept passing notes to each other... We're 'chatting'! hehe... I wrote the word 'guai' wrongly... Nini n Xiusi laf @ me... *sob* At least I didn't write the word 'huai' wrongly... *sob*
At nite, uncle Shaun took a bus to my place 2 pass me med... I told him I've got my own med he still went to buy... haiz.. He asked me which stop to alight... He called to tell me he's @ blk 346... I didn't noe where's 346... When I went to the bus stop, I realised 346 is the blk near the stop that I always alight!! haiz... He walked to the other bus stop n back.. haha...
I'm still trying to figure out who sent me that Xmas card... There's no return add... There's onli a signature... No name!! Argh!! I've killed quite a lot of brain cells thinking... *sob*
I received a msg fm someone I didn't expect... Was it sent to the wrong person? Or issit really 4 me?
Reminiscing stops at |10:11:00 am|
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
The more I think of it, the more fed up I feel...
To HER:
Please stop listening to him. Take control of ur life. He may be the one u love but he shouldn't make decisions for u. Stop doing wat he ask u to do all the time!
To HIM:
She may be ur gf but tt doesn't give u the right to help her make decisions! Stop controlling her!
Reminiscing stops at |9:52:00 am|
Last nite I went down to NTI... Got appt... Somehow I felt a little guilty... Xing had a headache but somehow I 'forced' him to come down... Miss Delphine was trying to get Xing to join but he doesn't want. He kept asking me to get him out of the office.. hehe... After having dessert wif him, I 'chased' him away... Miss Delphine brief me abt wat I did... I still have lots of things to learn...
Uncle Shaun kept complaining abt his sore throat... I dunno wat 2 do leh... so complain 2 me is useless... Asked him 2 pour the whole container of honey... hehe...
Sometimes, I love walking home... I love to use tt dark, quiet road though it's a little dangerous... While walking, I tot abt my dae...
Rena, I really wanna quit NTI. But somehow, I remembered a promise a made to myself... I can't quit! No matter how hard is it, I can't quit. If I run away now, I may be running away all the time in the future. But it's really very tough... and hurting when u saw the other side of ur frens... Should I pretend that I didn't see it? Should I confront them abt it?
Reminiscing stops at |9:00:00 am|
Monday, December 20, 2004
Humans really have two faces...
Their 2nd face will be revealed when you really need a BIG help from them. After their 2nd face is shown, they'll start running away fm u like u're a monster...
News spread very fast... Especially bad ones... They're like deadly viruses that ppl wanna avoid at all costs... I hate telling others abt myself... The inner me... The true me... I'd rather wear that heavy mask than facing those faces...
Why can't ppl juz give straight ans?? When you dun wan sth, juz sae it out! Dun drag! The more u drag, the more pestering u get. I hate to pester ppl 4 ans... but come to think of it, I think I hate myself... Sometimes, I can't give the other party any ans... Eventhough it's juz a simple ans like "yes" or "no".
I really hate it when ppl say sth tt didn't come fm my mouth!! I really didn't sae tt... and they went on to sae, "Szhi said..." "Szhi told me..." Stop acting as my mouth! I sae wat I wanna sae!
I hate it when ppl pretend to know me. I really hate it... I wanna live my own life. So, plz stop helping me to live.
I hate empty promises. If u're not gonna keep ur promise, dun make it in the 1st place! Mayb it's true... "Promises are lies tied with pretty ribbons"
My worse fear is making promises. I try to avoid it as far as I could.
I wanna live my life the way I want it to be. I dun wanna live in the shadows of others. Plz dun make me remove my mask...
Reminiscing stops at |11:09:00 pm|
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Had buffet lunch @ Quality Hotel juz now... Didn't eat much... The pricing there was quite funny... Lunch = $9.90 Dinner = $8.80 Supper = $5.50
Normally, Dinner shld be more ex than lunch mah... hmmm...
After lunch, pa sent me to Novena MRT station... I've gotta go down to CP again!! haiz...
I went in, Ani said Paru wasn't working todae... So, I passed the stuff 2 her... I wanted to walked off without saying hi to anyone... But I saw Auntie Annie. She had a new haircut! hehe... We chatted 4 a while. She bot a new phone le!! That Sony Ericson phone... I dunno which model... Winnie was working too!! Long time no see her! hehe... After chatting for a while, I left.
Walked to Wisma to clean my rings then went to Kovan... Everywhere was very packed!! Couldn't stand the crowd.. Luckily, NEL wasn't very packed...
Heartland Mall was OVERCROWDED!!! I had a hard time squeezing my way to Cold Storage!! After buying my chocs, I had to squeeze thru the crowd again...
Went to Mac to wait 4 uncle Shaun... It was quite peaceful there. While waiting, I transferred my MR notes to the notebook... When I was abt to finish, he appeared... He waited 4 me 2 finish b4 we left 4 ice cream... We walked abt Heartland Mall... Then went to play bowling... My skills are forever soooooo bad... *sob*
After drinks @ Mac, we went home... I made another uncle loose his way again... Cannot blame... My hse too ulu...
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~New Pics~
Reminiscing stops at |8:06:00 pm|
Yesterday...
Rena called me... She was rotting at HM... I was quite bored too... So... I went out to pei her... We walked ard then decided to go Pi's hse to disturb her.
Pi's mom said Rena n I look more n more alike!! haha... We managed to get Pi to go wif us.
We're supposed to meet @ 5pm. Though we reached @ abt 520, we're still the earliest! Meiyin was the latest!! As usual... hahaha... :p
We had our dinner at Nooch. After dinner, we made our way to Suntec. Eve n Pgek walked very fast!! We lost them quite a few times... We went to the fountain to rot... Looked at the short performance they have.... There's this little boy very cute!! Blur blur look... I'm in love wif him!! hahahaa.... I wanted to take a pic of him but couldn't have the chance... haiz... After tt, we went in to touch the water! hehe...
We made our way back home... Meiyin was complaining, "We shld ban the use of hp during our outings!" Wat!!! I got msg mah... so kept replying... *sob*
After bathing, I tried to complete my work... tml mayb not enough time 2 complete cuz I promise uncle Shaun that I'll go 4 ice cream wif him... I haven finish my work!! *sob*
Reminiscing stops at |10:11:00 am|
Thursday, December 16, 2004
QA tut... Yeah!! Mr Tang teach again!! Yeah yeah!!
We went to Clementi for lunch... Had to rush back 2 sch 4 French... Had lesson for 1hr then rush off 4 MR tut... I had no choice but 2 walk pass foodcourt4. Grrrrr....!!! SP shld really do sth 2 the ppl @ the basement there!! I was abt 15mins late 4 MR tut... She didn't start tut todae!! If I knew, I dun hav to rush back like a mad woman, ran pass foodcourt4's basement... I can stay on until the lesson end!! *sob*
Almost fall asleep during QA lect... My handwriting was almost illegible. But during BLAW lect, I was wide awake! haha... Mrs Pat always hav sth 2 sae abt law that makes us laf!! haha...
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There is nothing you can tell me
Which will make it all right
There is no way you can fix me
So stop it and don't even try
I sometimes feel so left out
And at the same time I can't care less
I am just another stranger to people
And people are strangers to me
My thoughts are too different
I can not be understood
Just like their feelings are so strange to me
I can't understand them too
I know that I am not the only one
I try to tell myself that I am not ill
That I have the same rights as everyone
Even happiness can be mine
But yet my world gets darker
As I think so negative again
But that's my right also
And then I try to understand...
... What is happiness anyway?
~Angel with dark wings~
Fear
I never wanted to cry
Hiding inside my own mind
Never comming out
What was it what I feared?
To be hurt or left all alone
In reallity it doesn't even matter so much
Pain only makes you stronger
Just don't forget your dreams and such
How many times have they told me
To be more like real me
Comparing me to a moon flower
Which hides when sun thouches its leaves
But others have called me a monster
And no one can say that they are wrong
What will happen if I look inside my soul?
Will the monster be released or gone?
I tried to change myself so many times
That I forgot who I am
At least I now understand it clearly
What I fear the most... is me.
~Angel with Dark wings~
Forgotten Day
I am looking outside
At the snowless world around me
At the darkness above me
I am just feeling so lonely
Why am I the person I am?
Why can I not be happy at this day
Maybe because I lost my belief in happiness
But is that the reason for me to be sad?
Is that why I am lonely
While I am used to be alone
Missing the snow and the darkness
The only things which were always there
I remember the day like this one
My only memory of being happy
Someone didn't forget and cared
Even though I was no one to her
I read the words back then
Today there are no words to read
Only from the ones I have reminded of
That is all.
In my dreams I am in snow and darkness
Always alone, never lonely like now
At this day which was forgotten by everyone
Fifth of december, the day I was born
~Angel with Dark wings~
Tell me something
Can you tell me something
About this world, about its people
I want to know everything
Being unable to know
Can you tell me something
Can you tell me why
Everything we know will die
Tears falling inside
Can you tell me
Why nothing is like it is supposed to be
Words and promisses are forgotten
Disappearing into mist of lives
You can't, I know that
And yet I am asking it all
Until like leaves
My memories will fall
~Angel with Dark wings~
Reminiscing stops at |7:07:00 pm|
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Suddenly, I'm feeling tired... So tired... So tired... I wanna sleep... Sleep through everything... But they just keep haunting me like nightmares... Someone, anyone... plz pull me out from this dark hole... Plz help me unlock the cage that I'm trapped in...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(*^~^*)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~New Pics~
~New Pics~
~New Pics~
Reminiscing stops at |9:41:00 pm|
My alarm clock rang... I woke up thinking, "Watz that? So noisy!" I stretched for it and turned it off. Then, as expected, I went back to sleep... I forgot my lesson starts at 8 today!! I didn't wake up until Meihua called me. Actually I didn't wanna answer it. I jumped out of my bed when I saw Meihua's name! (Meihua... now u noe ur name's this scary!! haha...) I told her to go first cuz I overslept... Didn't hav time to imagine how's Meihua's laughing at me at that time, I went to look for my dad. He's not in!! I went to wash up and change. Within 5mins, I was ready to leave. My dad couldn't send me to sch!! I almost cried out!! My mom fetched me to the mrt station. I looked at the time... I still hav enough time to take the mrt... so... In the end, I was only 10mins late... hehe...
BLAW tut ended early... Nini n I had too much time to rot in sch.. so... we decided to go 2 JP. I scared Nini again!! haha... This time, I missed her expression! haiz... Couldn't stop lafing at her...!! haha...
Spent abt 2hrs I think @ Billy Bombers eating ice cream!! After we've settled our bill, we played that wordy game... Ahhhh... How come I keep loosing!! *sob*
Nini couldn't enter the station!! haha... She didn't scan properly when she got out... In the end, Nini was late for her talk... Rena was alr waiting for me there... We tok @ Mac there... I was so sian after waiting to go 4 my French... In the end, I didn't go... As usual... haiz... Tml gotta call Jean-Marc...
Took Rena on a little tour ard the campus on our way to the station...
Tonite gotta read up on French n Business School!!
Reminiscing stops at |6:12:00 pm|
Monday, December 13, 2004
Last nite I went to NTI there till abt 11+... I reached home abt 1230? I can't really rem... Then I slept @ abt 1+.. going 2am...
Jumped out of my bed this morning cuz m'my told me it was 8am le!! She so bad! Early morning gimme this kinda shock can get heart attack one... As usual, I had to rush n couldn't finish my breakfast...
Meihua said I looked like I didn't wash up b4 I left the hse cuz I looked like I juz woke up... I was so tired the whole dae... Slept for 20mins during ECMT lect... then during EPI tut, I was gonna fall alseep! Mrs Pat saw me... oops! hehe...
Didn't hav any appetitte todae... Had sandwiches during lunch n samosa during breaktime...
Went home, put my bag down, change n everything... I went to bed... Planned to wake up @ 7pm... In the end, I slpt till 8pm!! I'm so tired...
Suddenly... I really prefer IJ life... haiz...
Reminiscing stops at |11:00:00 pm|
Saturday, December 11, 2004
I've got a new wallet!! Yippee!!
I was zipping the bag half-way when Auntie Saly told me that my dad was @ the household section... I tried to zip the bag as fast as I could. Auntie Sally grab the bag from me and asked me to go over to my dad. I pulled my dad to the ladies department to buy the wallet for me!! hehe...
Auntie Annie also got herself a new wallet. Today Robinsons start 15% + 5%. we've gotta make use of it! hehe...
I had the most horrible meal in my entire life!! Was lazy to walk so settle my meal @ Cuppage. The food there makes me feel bored. I walked around... Finally decided to eat Fuzhou Fishball La Mian. It's hopeless!! I played with it for abt 30-45mins before I gave up... I ate the 4fishballs n some noodles... It's the 1st n last time I'm eating tt again... Waste my money...
Reminiscing stops at |11:46:00 pm|
Friday, December 10, 2004
Argh!! Who wanna change stomach wif me!! I'm so fed up wif it!!
I missed the ABC watever strategy today... Feel so guilty... cuz I promised Rena that I'll go... When it was about 8, I told Delphine that I'm not going... Really guilty.. Really sorry...
~New Pics~
Reminiscing stops at |11:04:00 pm|
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I bought my PC-link cable le!! hehe...
The salesperson was quite interesting. He joked with us when we're in the shop. When he saw my wallpaper, he said it's a muffin and 2 apples. When I told him they were ice cream, he kept asking his colleague to go there after work. Meihua said something bad about him in a joking manner. He pretended not to hear. When Meihua said he's shuai, I laughed out! hahaha...
Went over to Orchard to meet Nini, Regina, Huiwen, Xiusi n Rebecca. Went over to LJS @ Cine for lunch. Then... It's NeoPrint session again!! hehe... We took 3x @ cine... After walking about in cine, we went to Heeren. There, we took another time... Shop shop there a bit... I saw that Converse top!! Have been eyeing on that since I can't remember when!! Haiz... Shall buy it on the 18th... @ Wisma, I saw a teardrop pendant @ Bits N Pieces!!! I want that also!! It's $30+... Haiz haiz...
So many things, so little time... so little money...
Oh...!!! Pan Weibo!!! Pan Shuai!!! hahaha...
Reminiscing stops at |9:36:00 pm|
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Tues... Tml's wed... My off day... It's a day that I'll try to escape... Escape from everything...
Will I ever be tired from these runs? Do I have the stamina to continue running this marathon that never end?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(*^~^*)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wanna watch movies!!! I wanna perm my hair!! I wanna do sth to my nails!! I wanna have streaks of blue on my hair!! I wanna pierce my ear again!! I wanna get more earings!! I wanna get myself another ring!! I wan the dolphin!! I still wan tt blue nose, grey tatty!! haiz...
Reminiscing stops at |11:56:00 pm|
My mom's not at home!! Nobody's at home! Stop calling!! So irritating... I wanna watch tv the phone kept ringing!! How I wish I could pluck that wire out of the phone!
Reminiscing stops at |11:58:00 am|
Monday, December 06, 2004
"Sorry" Though it is a short and simple word, it is hard to come out.
I really want to say sorry to you. I'm sorry for the things I've done. I'm sorry for how I took you for granted. I'm sorry for how I treated you. I'm sorry for whatever I've done without knowing. I'm really sorry.
I wanted to say these to you but I didn't. I couldn't find the chance to do it. I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Rena, I still can't do it. I don't dare to face him... But I'll try. But I need time to gather the courage I need...
Reminiscing stops at |10:17:00 pm|
Saturday, December 04, 2004
I was chatting with Cherye... Suddenly he said this...
"i sprain my leg..... says:
sometimes ppl concentrate on something or even to the extent of being obsessed in something......actually trying to avoid something else......
i sprain my leg..... says:
r yea this type of ppl 2?"
i sprain my leg..... says:
i guess yea probably 1 of them also.......
i sprain my leg..... says:
but is dat a good idea to avoid?
i sprain my leg..... says:
y not try solving the problem?
i sprain my leg..... says:
u might regret in your later life.......
Honestly, it struck me. I didn't noe how to reply. So, I juz said this...
"With each passing day... ~* says:
running away makes ur problem grow...
With each passing day... ~* says:
somtimes it takes a lot of courage 2 face that probem...
With each passing day... ~* says:
so much that it makes u feel better to avoid them...
With each passing day... ~* says:
but the longer u avoid, the less courage u can bring out..."
"i sprain my leg..... says:
when u say dat i guess u r really 1 of them le........feels like yea experience it...
haiz......dats y yea shouldn't run away from it at the start ma........
i know it takes courage.........but juz bring out your courage........
all else the longer yea avoid.......the less courage yea can bring out......
so dun hesistate le......bring out your courage now......"
"i sprain my leg..... says:
do u really tink it is good to keep running away........?
n den regret later.......
to let yourself have no regrets......yea should go bravely face your problems......"
"With each passing day... ~* says:
when i avoid those... i try 2 forget them too...
though they are hard..."
"i sprain my leg..... says:
yea so pro......still can forget things de.......dats y sometimes i feel dat being forgetful might not be a bad thing afterall........
haiz.....but do yea really want to go try n forget stuff all the way in your life when u face problems?
y not try n face your problems.......den at least yea try le......n will have no regrets....."
Ahhh... I'm really such a coward... *sob*
Reminiscing stops at |11:22:00 pm|
I look to the pieces of a mirror
Seeing my broken image inside
Almost like a closed door
No never be fixed again
Warm blood drips on the floor
I am holding it too tight
No pain, no sowrrow, completelly nothing
Only darkness and blood in reach of my sigth
I am the evil wandering at this earth
Hidden in my own world, reachable to none
There are things i should have done
Like never being born at all
The mirror. It was never whole.
Oceans of blood have always flown
It is just the time that has stopped
Allowing me to think for my own
~Angel With Dark Wings~
Can I really make you happy?
You tell me that I can
Just by being there for you
And that is what i will do
If there is a way for me to help you
Then just tell me, it is ok
I guess that this is what means
To be a friend
~Angel With Dark Wings~
The darkness approaches
As I feel slipping down
Into the land of loneless
Where nothing can be found
It doesn't even matter
My heart feels cold again
It feels more like comming home
I knew this in the end
I see hands reaching
Trying to stop my fall
And in this last moment I wonder
Should I stop and take one?
~Angel With Dark Wings~
Fight
I don't want to lose
I never will
This fight is why I live
This is how I will die
There is no blood
Not even a small cut
No injuries which can be seen
And yet, this fight is real
Only visable to me
That is how it is supposed to be
The only way to find out
Is to fight inside my mind
~Angel With Dark Wings~
The night has come,
The world falls in darkness
Last light is gone
So is last hope
With the aproaching of the dark
The terror finds its way out
Filling our minds and our imagenation
Grabbing control of once our nation
Hoping to detect the danger doesn't help
It will just get you in the end
Making an end to all your desires
Burning down like being put in fire
It will all go on, until you will realise
That it is fear controling your mind
Nothing is hiding in the dark
Only the evil, created by the human kind
~Angel With Dark Wings~
Song
Have you ever heard me singing
No way you ever could
The words are filling my mind
But there is no sound
There are dark words, sad words, happy ones
With ones to chose? about what to write?
I have a song in my head
One that will never be heard
Because that is the song which tells
Who I really am.
And who I am not.
That one is for no one to know.
~Angel With Dark Wings~
For some poems I am ashamed
Though I guess that there is no reason why
Each poem tells a bit about persons self
That is why you can never call a poem bad
But for the ones which I don't like
That is the main reason for their existance
Because they tell the most about my life
Maybe that is why i a kind of hate them
Used to be protected in the dark
Inside a frozen shield, I cried
But there never were any tears
Maybe that is why..
Maybe that is why since I left the shield
I can not lose the feeling that my emotions are useless
Because without darkness to protect me
The tears are real and they can be seen.
~Angel With Dark Wings~
Reminiscing stops at |1:14:00 am|
Friday, December 03, 2004
I was walking along the busy road, with everyone walking pass me. Those thoughts are still bothering me. They are getting heavy. Maybe it'll be too heavy for me to carry. I want to get rid of this heavy boulder but I don't have the courage to do so. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The ticking sound echoed in my head. So much time has passed. Still, nobody has done anything.
I really want to know why. I really want to know the reason. Can you tell me why am I treated like this? Is this the way I treat people? Can you please tell me?
Walking along the busy road, I began to hate myself...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(*^~^*)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Crappy moods~
Sometimes you don't know how to heal,
Sometimes you don't kno wat to feel,
Sometimes you wanna cry,
Sometimes you wanna die,
Sometimes it's a reality,
Sometimes it's an illusion,
Waiting for a moment,
Just to stab you,
Stab you till you're crushed,
Sometimes you think why?
Why it even matters?...
~mYztIC87~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(*^~^*)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is like a highway,
with many exits,
that are equivalent to choices,
if you take the wrong exit,
you come across a dead end.
~mYztIC87~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(*^~^*)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reminiscing stops at |10:13:00 pm|
Thursday, December 02, 2004
11 days more to school reopen...
Hope that day comes sooooon!! I really dun wanna work there le... It feels awkward seeing Hai. Ahhh..!!! Hurry sch reopen so me dun needa face him anymore!!
Seems like Hai's not the onli one that I didn't tok much to. What am I so afraid of? I still dun understand.
I'm living my life aimlessly... Doing those routine over n over again. I'm getting sick and tired of this kinda life. What shld I do??? I think I needa hav new targets... new goals... hmmmm...
I still wan tt tatty!! But it's too ex... *sob* Whenever I walk pass it, I'll start dreaming how would I feel if I hav it. If there's someone I noe beside me, I'll sure sae sth to tt person! "I'll marry to the one who buys tt 4 me!" haha...
Reminiscing stops at |11:58:00 pm|
I was reading Rena's blog... Saw the post on our BBQ nite...
Though the nite was short, I really enjoyed it. It's very hard for us to meet together. So, every year, they're 'forced' to attend this gathering! haha...
It's the 3rd year we had BBQ. But never once we successfully started the fire ourselves! hahaha... Guess we've gotta read Starting BBQ Fires for the Dummies!! If there's one... haha...
Planning this gathering was tough. Different ppl r free on difnt days. I was a little fed up during the process of planning. But the fun I had in return was kinda worth it.
I really enjoy being wif my Sec Gang! In my Sec life, I had the most joys n tears. We went thru so much together. Those crazy times n those misunderstandings.
I really love IJ life! We're able to do some crazy stuff freely cuz there's no guys ard!! Excluding teachers n the school keeper... hehe...
Conclusion: IJ life Rox!! Yeah!!
Reminiscing stops at |11:51:00 am|
Afraid...
By those words they may say to me.
Afraid...
By what they will do to me.
But I'm longing for that affection,
For that love and care.
Those feelings that I've never felt before.
But my heart is locked
With it's key burried deep in the earth, in the deep blue sea
Nowhere to be found.
Oh where is it?
The key that unlocks everything.
Reminiscing stops at |1:00:00 am|
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
My Hong Kong Adventure... hmmm...
Day 1:
In the plane, I asked for white wine. The stewardess asked how old I am. *sob*
We arrived @ HK. Weixin couldn't believe that she's in HK! Haha... We took the shutter bus to our hotel, Langham Place. Weixin and I shared a room. We're fascinated by the toilet! The toilet was beautiful! The sink was glass, mirrors were and all 4 walls, and we can see each other when we bathe!! Haha... But there's a screen. So, phew... After exploring our room, we went out.
1st stop, Ladies Market. We walked around till about 630. We bargained and bargained and bought a lot of things there! Hehe... After walking half of Ladies Market, we went for dinner @ Red Strawberry (direct translation from Chinese). We chatted with 2 of the waiters there, Sam and Qiang. Weixin kept looking @ Sam. Suddenly, she said Sam looks like Jay! We still don't see how they look alike. We managed to get Sam's hp no. Weixin kept it.
After dinner, we walked around. We went into one of the shopping centre. I saw Angel Cosmetics. My shop! Haha... We spent about HK$1,000 in a handicraft shop and got to choose HK$300 worth of things free. Weixin and I spent the most time in there. We head back to our hotel after that.
Day2:
We woke up @ 630am for a tour around HK. After the tour, it was Ocean Park time! I almost missed my dolphin show! I squeezed my way thru to get in. But by the time I was in there, the show was almost ending... *sob* We're supposed to meet @ the gate @ 645. But we're still trying to get down. The escalator was packed and slow. We ran and squeezed our way there and stayed close to each other so we'll not be separated. We're the last one out but 1st to board the bus. We chased after our bus. The rest were nowhere to be seen.
After dinner, we went to Tsim Sha Tsui. There was nothing much there. Weixin wanted to find scarf for belly dancing for her future mother-in-law. Levis @ HK is more ex. We made our way back to Mong Kok. We went to Ladies Market again. But they were closing soon. *sob* Wanted to buy a mood ring but didn't... haiz...
Back in the hotel, we went to borrow some DVDs. I watched Van Helsing until I fell asleep. It was on until I woke up @ about 6+. I watched a bit and fell asleep again. Weixin woke up and switched it off.
Day3:
I went down to use the net. Huiwen also came down. Both of us chat online.
After our branch, we went to Causeway Bay. We walked around to find Weixin's belly dancing scarf. The guys bought bird's nest drink. We bought quite a few boxes of bird's nest sweets and chocs there. We made our way to Central. Weixin found her belly dancing scarf!!
We went back to our hotel to put our things down and rest a little. Then, we made our way to Little Fat Sheep (direct translation again). The place was packed! We didn't make any reservation. We went to have sushi instead.
After dinner, we went to Lai Kwai Fong. We had some drinks there and went back. I ordered Angel Face! I managed to finish watching my Van Helsing! Haha...
Day4:
We went to have our branch @ Little Fat Sheep! They sell mostly mutton. No wonder it's called Little Fat Sheep. We went to shop again. 680 Nathan Road. It was like Far East! We got quite a few things there again. The guys get dessert for us and we went back to stuff our stuff into our luggage. We did it along the corridor!! The room was too small for all of us to pack in there.
We had our dessert outside, along the road. Our luggage was like... WOW! 10 ppl, 15 bags!
@ 630, we said goodbye to HK. About 10, we're welcomed back to Singapore.
Reminiscing stops at |10:19:00 am|
